Instant Family
by MomoDesu
Summary: Miroku had always wanted a large family, but what if his biggest dream actually turned out to be one big mess? Comedy, with a hint seriousness though not much!


A/N: I've never been the best at writing Miroku/Sango seriously so this was a challenge for me. It was originally written for a Christmas fic/art exchange, but I never got my half of the exchange so I was a little ticked, but I was still pleased with how this came out. Let me know what you think!

V.

EDIT: I fixed the funky formatting, so if you are on my author notification list and got another email about this, I apologize!

-----

They had been fighting Naraku's latest minions for roughly an hour so far, and things weren't going too badly. Inuyasha was really on the ball this time, surrounded by numerous dead demons yet not bearing a scratch. Kagome wasn't doing half bad herself, not putting herself in danger and distracting Inuyasha. But it was Sango that had his attention. Miroku loved to watch her in battle; she was graceful yet deadly, throwing Hiraikotsu with deadly accuracy. He was so distracted by her bottom in that tight suit that he never saw any danger coming his way until he heard Sango yelling.

"Miroku, look out!" she screamed, running toward him.

He tried to use his staff, swinging it at the enemy who was targeting him, but wasn't quick enough. The last thing he remembered was Sango rushing toward him before everything went black.

When he tried to open his eyes again he couldn't get a clear picture of his surroundings. Where ever he was definitely wasn't a battlefield; he felt warm and cozy and thought he smelled food cooking in the distance. When he tried to sit up he felt his body protesting and groaned.

"Miroku," he heard not too far away from where he lay. Sango. It was Sango's sweet voice. He tried to call out to her but found he couldn't use his voice. He felt her beside him. "Miroku, don't try to get up, you took a nasty spill today!"

"Daddy's awake!" he heard a squeal from what had to be the next room over.

"Kagome," she scolded, "daddy doesn't feel well, go play with Shippou for a bit, alright."

"Yes, mama," the little girl replied. Scampering footsteps soon followed and disappeared; he knew she had gone outside of where ever it was that they were.

But why was a little girl calling Sango 'mama'? And why did the same little girl call him 'dad'? They were just in battle, they had promised not to marry and start a family until after Naraku was no longer a threat to them. Where the hell was he?

"Sango," he tried to say again, though it came out as a mumble.

She ran her hand across his forehead. "Shhh, darling. You fell from Kaede's roof today, just rest."

Instead of complaining and trying to figure out where he was he followed her directions and gave into sleep.

-----

When he finally woke up he was able to sit up without any pain. He looked around, again trying to figure out exactly where the hell he was and why Sango was pregnant; in this reality he was already her husband so he assumed it was his. He already knew they had one child, he just wondered how many others there were.

He stood from the futon and looked about the strange room. Judging from the size of that room alone he assumed their home was fairly large. Realizing that he was naked he began to shuffle around in search of something to cover his nude form when Sango entered the room with a basket full of clothes. He quickly rushed to her and took the large basket from her. "Sango, if you are pregnant you shouldn't be doing that!" he scolded.

She smacked him lightly on the arm. "Miroku, this is our fifth child, I think I know what I can and can't do by now." She took the basket away from him again and sat it on the low table in the corner of the room. "You know if you plan on going outside today you should probably cover yourself," she said, looking him up and down with a lustful glance.

He blushed under her gaze and started shuffling around the room again, trying to figure out where his clothes were kept in this room that apparently belonged to him and Sango. He stopped when Sango appeared in front of him and held out a simple men's kimono. He blushed again when he dressed as she watched. "What's wrong with you, husband? You haven't blushed like this since our wedding night!"

Miroku shook his head. "I am not feeling very well, my dear wife," he replied, rolling the word 'wife' over his tongue, liking the way it sounded when it was in reference to the pregnant beauty in front of him.

Sango cocked her head to the side. "You have been acting strange since you fell off of that roof yesterday. Did you hit your head when you fell? It's like you don't remember anything about our life."

He took this as his chance; he could feign ignorance and have Sango tell him all about this life that he was suddenly thrown into. "Things do seem rather unclear to me right now," he said, nodding his head. "Could you refresh my memory a little bit?"

She smiled and took his hand, leading them to their futon. "We have been married for a little over ten years now. We married right after the defeat of Naraku. Kagome and Inuyasha went back to her time though they still visit every once in a while. We adopted Shippou right before I gave birth to our little Shiori. Kagome came not too long after her; her namesake cried the day you told her about our baby. Soon after I gave you your son, Miroku junior. You call him Roku and he hates it. Then when Kagome was two and Roku just turned one Takumi came along. And according to Kaede I am very close to giving birth to this little one!" She rubbed her rounded stomach. "You work here and the surrounding villages performing blessings and exorcisms without actually scamming people while I sell my herbs. Well, I will until I have the baby. Then I can do minor exterminations if they are needed!"

He opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off.

"We went through this the first time around," she said, a flash of anger in her eyes, "if I want to go out and kill demons then I will!"

"I'm just looking out for you!" he replied calmly. "I love you and don't want to see you hurt!"

"I love you too, but I've never stopped you from doing what you wanted to do!" Her eyes started to fill with tears and he immediately regretted trying to make her stop doing what she loved.

He walked over to her and embraced her. "I'm sorry, love. I just don't want to see you hurt."

She sniffled a bit. "You got hurt in battle more than I did," she said a little defensively.

Not wanting to carry on with the subject, he tried to distract her. "How about we go for a walk? Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Oh, no you don't!" Sango said, stepping away from him. "You promised Takumi and Shippou that you would take them with you today to bless that farmer's house while Kaede and I continue Kagome's lessons."

"But...but..." he sputtered.

"No," Sango cut him off. "Don't forget that you are a father and spending time with your children is important." Turning, she walked out of the room, leaving Miroku alone once more. After a lengthy search around the room he finally found his old robes and put them on, feeling a sense of comfort wearing the robes once brilliant purple robes that were now faded with age.

On the way out of the house he grabbed his staff, which leaned against the corner in the main room, and headed out the door in search of Shippou and his eldest son.

-----

For about half an hour they had walked in silence. Well, Miroku and Shippou walked while Takumi had insisted that daddy carry him while he asked every question that came to his little mind.

"Why does Shippou have a tail?"

"Because he's a kitsune."

"I thought he was a tanuki."

Shippou stopped. "Do I look like a raccoon-dog?" He didn't want to be angry at the child, but he hated being called that name.

"Sorry, Shippou," the child said in a sad voice. The sadness didn't last too long because he had yet another question. "Why does Uncle Inu have those funny ears?"

"Because he is a dog demon," Miroku replied, nearly at his wits end at all of the questions. He had forgotten how many questions children tended to ask.

"But Sess...Sess..."

"Sound it out, son."

"Sess...shouu...maruu...But Sesshoumaru is a dog demon too!" Takumi said.

"Your Uncle Inu's mother was human, that's why he has the funny ears."

"Why do you sometimes stare at your hand and sigh?"

"I've already told you the story of the curse three times today, son."

"Why are Auntie Kagome's clothes so short?"

Miroku was thankful to see the farmer's house approaching, giving him a reason to shush his son other than the massive headache that was forming. He wasn't sure how to answer about the clothing question since he didn't know the answer himself other than where she came from, but the day he met Kagome he thanked every god that would listen for those short dresses and the winds that would give him peeks of her panties.

The blessing quickly came and went while Shippou and Takumi were out playing with the farmer's children, but of course the moment they started back home the questions started all over again.

"Did I come out of mommy's belly like the new baby?" the child asked, looking up at his father. Miroku had refused to carry him on the way home, insisting that if he wanted to go on these trips with him he would have to eventually learn to walk on his own.

Miroku nodded. "Yes, you grew in your mother's belly until you were big enough to come out into the world." He was really dreading the next question.

"How did I get there?"

"Why don't you ask your mother when we get home?"

"Ok!" Takumi replied, running off ahead of his father to chase a butterfly that had crossed their path.

"So, Miroku," Shippou said, "Where do babies come from?"

Miroku looked down at the little fox with an evil gleam in his eye; with a squeal Shippou took off running, avoiding the swinging staff that was aimed at his head.

-----

When he finally walked into their home, Miroku felt like he wanted to pull his hair out. Even after he told Takumi to ask his mother about babies he continued his onslaught of questions after he lost the butterfly that had him distracted. He was starting to reconsider taking the family for a quick bath after Takumi asked why mommy didn't have the same parts as daddy.

He watched Takumi run up to his mother, who sat by the fire mending what looked like hand-me-down clothes that were going to belong to the new baby. He took all of two steps inside before he was assaulted by his three other children.

Picking both Kagome and Roku up he squeezed them affectionately while Shiori pressed herself into his chest. "Were you three good for your mother?"

Shiori, Kagome and Roku nodded their heads vigorously though the look on Sango's face said it was the total opposite.

"Roku decided to go off with Shinichi while Shiori, Kagome and I were at Kaede's," Sango said, looking at Roku with a bit of a disapproving look. "Next time you want to go play just tell me, don't make me worry!"

Miroku sat Kagome down but kept a firm grip on Roku. "Why did you do that to your mother?" he questioned.

The little boy in his arms looked down like he was going to cry. "I wanted to go out and play with Shin-chan," he whispered.

"That is no excuse, little one. You scared your mother. Next time you will ask before you leave," he chided as gently as he could. The last thing he wanted to deal with was a crying child, especially his own.

"Yes, papa." Miroku sat the boy down and he went to sit next to his mother.

Sango looked up from the pile of clothing in her lap. "So how did it go?"

"Perfect," Miroku replied with a sigh. "Almost boring." He walked over to where Sango sat and took a seat behind her, kissing the top of her head on the way down. "I really miss traveling sometimes," he said quietly.

She laughed lightly. "Now you understand why I can't wait to get back to exterminating. But I wouldn't trade this for the world."

"Nor would I."

They both looked up when they heard footsteps coming toward them, almost in a dead run. In front of them stood Takumi with a smile on his chubby face. "I asked papa a question but I don't think he knows the answer because he told me to ask you!"

Sango looked at him rather perplexed; Miroku always had the answers, even if they weren't quite the truth. "What do you have to ask, son?"

"Where do babies come from?"

-----

After their small family ate dinner Miroku once again found himself sitting behind Sango rubbing her belly as their children played with a combination of toys from the future and toys from their era. Roku and Shippou were coloring on big pieces of thick paper with the wax sticks that Kagome and Inuyasha brought to them during their last visit. His little Kagome was weaving a wreath out of flowers that they had picked together after he returned from the blessing. It was a skill that he assumed Rin taught her the last time she was in the village with Sesshoumaru. Takumi was in the corner by himself playing with some little figures that Sango said that he had carved for the boy's last birthday while Shiori sat next to him playing soldiers with him even though she was trying to make it look like she wasn't. His children were beautiful to him, even after the day he had with them pestering him to death. His daughters were happy children, very talkative and easygoing like he was even though both of them were a carbon copy of her mother. Roku, on the other hand, was very quiet and reserved even though he looked just like Miroku did at that age. The boy was a fine artist, learning many of his skills from Shippou. The only one who was different was Takumi; he was a perfect combination of both he and Sango with a friendly personality, he loved to talk to anyone and everyone.

Each of the children were perfect in his eyes, and he only wished that this little fantasy would last long enough for him to see their fourth child's birth. He had always wanted a family, a wife and many children to carry on his bloodline; he just never realized that raising children would be as tough. After his day with Kagome and Takumi he hadn't spent too much time with Roku and Shiori alone though he could tell that they was probably just as much of a handful as the other two. He really wanted to spend some time alone with his wife.

Miroku scooted back a little bit and began to massage Sango's lower back. She sighed in pleasure, leaning her head back onto his shoulder. "What do you say about a bath, just you and me?"

He smiled. "I say that is a wonderful idea."

His vision of a naked Sango in a steamy spring was totally shattered when Roku padded over to them. "Mamma, papa, I don't feel so well," he said with a pout.

"Aww, come here, sweetie," Sango said to the child, holding out her hand. He walked over to them and sat next to his mother. "Where does it hurt?"

"My tummy," he replied.

Miroku scooted away from his wife and over toward his son, putting a hand on his forehead. "You're running a fever, son," he said. Immediately he felt around his neck and opened his little shirt to feel his chest. "A fairly strong fever. What did you and Shinichi do today?"

Roku looked down. "We went and played in the pond behind his house."

"Just like I have asked you many times not to do," Sango said.

Out of nowhere fatherly instinct hit him like a brick and he called out to Kagome. "Go to Kaede's and get some medicine for Roku. Tell her he has a fever."

"Ok, daddy!"

Before she had time to put on her shoes and dash outside, Roku leaned over and threw up. All over Miroku.

"Tell her he's throwing up too," he called.

-----

Miroku watched the sun rising from the front window. He had made a pallet near the fire for his sick son to keep him toasty warm when he finally fell asleep. He had no idea what time that was, but he made Sango go to bed when her eyes started to droop. There was no way he could sleep with the boy ill. The medicine from Kaede had done some good, taking away the nausea and helping a little with the pain so he could sleep, but this little incident scared Miroku more than he cared to share. This was his little boy, another life form that he helped create; there was no way he could sleep in comfort when his child was laying in front of the fire ill.

He only meant to close his eyes for a second, but when he opened them again he was laying on the floor with his son tucked against his chest. He could hear Sango whispering to the other children to be quiet if they were going to be inside so they wouldn't wake their father or brother.

Carefully he moved Roku back over to the pallet and sat up. Sango smiled at him. "Did you sleep well?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. I missed sleeping at your side."

"I missed having you at my side too. I started to feel pains last night," she said with a bit of a smile.

"Why are you smiling about pain?" he asked. Unless... "Are you...are you..."

"I'm very close!" She came over and sat down next to him. "It isn't too bad right now, just a dull throbbing."

"What do we do?? I have to get Kaede! Is everything ready??" He started to panic. They may have had four children already, but he wasn't present for any of their births and he didn't know what quite to expect.

Sango laughed at the look of panic on his face. "Don't worry so much! This will be the fifth time I've gone through this, I think I have a good idea of what is going on with my body," she said, smiling.

Her casual attitude toward the birth did calm him down a bit though he was still scared for her. "I only have one request," he said.

"And that would be?"

"Can I be present for the birth?" he asked, nearly a whisper. He missed seeing his other three being born, he wanted to be there for this child.

Sango thought for a moment. "I would love for you to be there, but I'm not sure if Kaede will allow it. She had to throw you out when Roku was born because you wouldn't calm down."

"Please, just humor me."

There was no way that she could deny his pleading eyes. "I will make sure you are there with me."

He smiled and kissed her deeply. "It would make me the happiest man alive." He sat back a little when she winced, giving her a questioning look.

"Just a slight bit of pain, nothing too bad!" Sango said. She stood up the best she could, with just a little help from Miroku, before she went to the front door. "I am going to see Kaede. I will be back soon!"

-----

Sometime around noon he woke up again with his son on his chest again. He felt the child's forehead and his fever seemed to be gone. In the corner of the little kitchen area was a basket of fresh vegetables; hopefully he would be able to get the child to eat something after how sick he was the night before. Carefully he rolled the child off of his chest and tucked him back under the blankets on the pallet. He looked in the corner and saw Shiori with the wax sticks drawing.

"Shiori, darling, come here," he called to her.

She put down the paper and crayons and went to her father. "Yes, papa?"

"Will you help me make something for Roku to eat when he wakes up?" He gestured to the basket. "I need you to prepare some of the leeks while I work on the rice."

She nodded again and went to the basket of vegetables. "Why don't you make some of Auntie Kagome's ninja food?"

Miroku looked over at the eleven year old. "We have ramen left?"

"Yeah, I hid some away from Uncle Yash the last time he was here," she said. "I'll start the water." He watched as his daughter moved around their cooking area with practiced ease, like she had been helping her mother around the kitchen since she was young. She stopped for a moment and rubbed her stomach a little but continued on preparing some water for her little brother's soup.

"Are you okay, baby?" he asked her in concern. The paternal instincts were there from the moment he lay eyes on his children, but after last night he was on high alert and ready to battle all of the world's ills for them.

Shiori nodded her head. "My stomach hurts a little bit, but I'm fine!" She smiled at him cheerfully and went back to what she was doing. Miroku had turned back to his son, feeling his forehead again checking for fever when he heard his daughter yell.

"Owww!" The small pot of water was set on the low table, what was left of it anyway. Half of it was all over the girl as she cradled her stubbed toe. "I'm fine, papa. Just clumsy as usual," she said with a laugh.

He stood up and picked up the pot. There was still enough water in it to make the ramen. "You go change your clothes, I will put on the water."

Shiori had been gone all of five minutes when he heard her yell again. He left the pot of water on the fire and ran to the small room that his girls shared.

"Papa," she said, her voice trembling, as she held up her inner kimono that was spotted with blood.

Miroku paled and panicked. "Lemme...let me get your mother!" He darted out of the house and down the path to Kaede's.

-----

He tried to calm himself down while his wife was in the bedroom giving their daughter 'the talk' and trying to calm her down.. That was the last thing he expected to happen to him during his father experience. He had always assumed that when he and Sango had children that they would all be healthy boys. Or if something did happen Sango would be there to take over.

After Sango returned home, Roku had woken up from his sister's crying and had eaten some of the ramen that he prepared for him. Unfortunately the ramen came right back up; for the second time in twenty four hours Miroku had to change his robes.

He made a vow; he would wait as long as Sango wanted to before they had children. He definitely wasn't ready for this no matter how many times he told himself he was. Children and a big family sounded so appealing to him in theory yet he never really gave any thought to how much work that went into taking care of that family.

Sango came back out of the room into the main living area looking a little frazzled and in pain.

"How is she?" Miroku asked.

She just laughed. "She's fine. A little scared and overwhelmed, but fine. How about you, daddy?"

Miroku shook his head. "Stressed, tired, stressed," he laughed. "I had always thought you would be home when that happened so I wouldn't have to take any part in it!"

His wife just shook her head and lowered herself down next to him. Her discomfort was apparent on her face with every inch. "I can't wait to give birth to this one. The pains have been getting worse."

"Worse?"

"How do I describe it...pressure. I feel pressure." She rubbed her belly a little bit. "I am ready for you to come see the world, little one," she whispered to her unborn baby.

The masculine pride that had been rushing since he woke up in this strange reality came back full force when he saw the small smile on her face and eyes shining with love as she rubbed her belly and whispered to their child. "Shiori," she called.

The girl came out of the bedroom that she was in. "Yes, mama?"

"Will you fetch Kaede for me?"

Shiori nodded and left the house.

Miroku's eyes widened. "Is it time?"

Sango nodded. "Very close. Will you help me to our room, please?"

Carefully, Miroku lifted his wife to her feet and led her to their room. Just as carefully he helped her to sit on their futon and sat along side her, rubbing her back. "Are you ready, darling?"

She nodded her head. "As ever."

"Me too."

-----

It took lots of convincing on both his and Sango's part, but Kaede finally let Miroku stay in the room while his wife gave birth.

He wiped the sweat away from her forehead with a damp cloth all the while whispering soothing words into her hair. "How do you feel?" he asked quietly.

"Like I'm being ripped in two," she panted with a smile on her face. "I can't wait to hold our baby in my arms."

He smiled. "I can't wait either." He winced as Sango gripped his hand harder than she had through her labor. "Is all of this pain really worth it?"

Sango nodded. "Every time."

"Miroku," Kaede said, looking up at him from the end of their futon. "The child is crowing."

"Crowing?" he asked, confused. He abandoned Sango's side and moved down to look at what Kaede was talking about. His eyes widened, knowing that his wife _had_ to be in pain. "Oh...oh..." he stammered. "Crowning -" His voice trailed off as things went black.

-----

"Miroku..." It was her voice. "Miroku..." There it was again.

He cracked his eyes open. "How is the baby?" he managed say even though his throat was dry and his mouth felt like it was filled with cotton.

"Baby?" Sango questioned.

"What's the monk talking about?" came Inuyasha's voice, though he couldn't see the hanyou.

Miroku finally managed to open his eyes completely. Instead of his pregnant dream wife Sango knelt beside him in her tight slayer uniform; the suit that started this whole mess. "Sango?" he asked. She nodded and he threw himself upright and wrapped his arms around her. "Oh, gods, I swear to you that we can wait as long as you like to get married and have children! There is no rush at all!"

Sango looked at Inuyasha and Kagome for a moment in confusion before she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around the man that was holding onto her for dear life. "I can handle that."

Inuyasha stomped his foot impatiently. "Come on, monk, get. Those shards ain't gonna hunt themselves you know!"

Kagome rolled her eyes and grabbed the hanyou by the sleeve and pulled him away from her two friends so they could have a bit of privacy.

"So what was that about a baby?" Sango asked him.

Miroku blushed and told him about his ordeal with her and their kids when he woke up after the blow to the head during battle.

Sango just laughed at most of it, imagining him with kids running around him yelling for their 'papa'. That was until he groped her bottom.

For the second time that day he took a blow to the head, this one courtesy Hiraikotsu, and things were back to normal.


End file.
